Author Archives: Tim Fogarty
Protected: Not so fast
Teenage Pregnancy
If you’ve been following my twitter feed you know I have a new kitten. Sally is her name, and she’s about 8 months old.
Martin volunteers for this cat rescue that primarily finds homes for older cats. I’ve helped out a few times as well. The first week in September someone had called about a kitten that has been hanging out in their back yards, clearly not being taken care of by anyone. They were in South Central LA. Martin drove down late Friday night, Sept 5, caught the kitten and brought her back to his home in Hollywood. He bathed her and fed her, and gave her a Capstar pill to get rid of all the live fleas (though that doesn’t kill the eggs). She was very sociable, and hungry. The next day Martin took her to the Pet Co on LaBrea and 1st, where this orgranization has their weekly adoptions each Saturday (the Sunday group is a different org). He called me up and said I need to come over to see this kitten.
Since Oscar died in June, Piggy has been very needy. He was not doing well alone, so I knew I’d need to get another cat soon. So I went to the pet adoption and checked her out. June, the lady that runs this org, suggested that I foster the kitten for a while as they didn’t have anyplace to keep her at this time. So I took her home, knowing that the odds of ever giving her up were small. I put her in Ivan’s bedroom, and at night, in Ivan’s bathroom with the cat carrier. She seemed content.
The following Monday, Martin took the kitten to the vet where this org has an open account. The vet said she was about 8 months old, in good health, had not been spayed, and was not pregnant. Since the following weekend I was traveling, and that Piggy had been neutered, we decided to wait a week or two to get Sally spayed.
Back at home, Piggy knew something was up immediately. He kept trying to get into Ivan’s room. So on the third day I allowed them to see each other. There was some minor hissing, but generally things went well. Sally was a bit more territorial than Piggy. Piggy really just wanted to be friends. Soon they both had free range of the house. There was some problems at meal times, but Piggy learned to wait until Sally finished. But there were some tense moments when during the middle of the day Sally tried to keep Piggy away from the kibble. But I would put Sally in time-out in the bath tub and she quickly learned.
The following weekend I went on my trip. Had a great time. Got back this past Monday. On Thursday, Martin came over and noted Sally was looking a bit chunky. Yes she’s been eating a lot. (as if she were eating for 3 or 4 other kittens!) We examined her more closely and sure enough, we think she’s pregnant. (At only 8 months!) Her nipples were the most obvious sign, becoming well developed. I suppose at this stage we’re not 100% sure, but I’d say it is very likely. I guess we’ll know for sure this week.
On Saturday, Martin mentioned all this to June at the cat rescue. She said we needed to take her to the vet that afternoon and have her spayed and abort the kittens. If we waited even a few days, she might be too far along to have the procedure done. Well, first there was a very good chance that she was already too far along. I had had her for 3 weeks now, and the person who had Martin come get her said they had seen her getting humped weeks before. But second, neither Martin nor I could choose to end the pregnancy. Yes, we’re both very pro choice: Each individual must have the right to make that decision on their own, without undue outside influence. But I couldn’t make that decision, certainly not that afternoon.
June was not pleased. We’ll find homes for the kittens, we say. But that just means there will be fewer homes for kittens already at the pound, she said. (I don’t think that’s completely true, because many of my friends with 2 cats aren’t going to be going to the pound to pick up a third, but may be willing to help me out and take one of these kittens. (Expect to be hearing from me come January!)
But I must admit, both Martin and I are a bit excited to be having kittens. Both of us have memories of our cats having kittens when we were very young. Neither of us would intentionally breed our pets. We know there are way too many that are put down because of lack of homes. All our cats have been spayed or neutered in the past. But this cat came into our life already preggers, and we want to enjoy the ride. (Expect to see me start using Vine!)
With a 9 week gestation, birth should occur sometime between October 25 and November 7. Anyone want to start an office pool?
Piggy and Sally are getting along more and more. Every morning when I wake up, Sally climbs onto my chest and starts suckling my t-shirt. (Still a kitten and already having kittens!) She especially likes the collar. I’ve fallen back asleep with her doing this. Today she did this for a while, then slid down to the bed between my arm and chest and continued to suckle. Piggy also often cuddles up between my arm and chest. He’s been wanting to cuddle up with her but she won’t let him. So today when he saw her between my arm and chest, he got in there too, putting his butt up agains hers. She was too busy suckling to notice. After about 10 minutes, she did notice and gently got up and moved. Progress.
Management
Because my last two jobs were writing digital asset management software for entertainment companies, today I got a call from another entertainment company for “Director of Application Architecture for the Media Services software development team with a key focus on Digital Media Archive”. The HR person had “heard great things” about me and think I would be perfect for this position. “Does it require interacting with other human beings?”, I ask.
I am a coder, a pretty good system architect, not too bad at putting out fires. Even a pretty good mentor in small doses. But I am not management material.
Good Grief
I’m not one to feel extreme emotions, whether high or low. When people ask how I’m doing, my usual reply is “I’m OK”, which is usually an accurate description of my emotional state. This lack of highs and lows can frustrate others, especially boyfriends, who’s emotions tend to vary widely. (Yes I tend to date latinos.)
The grief I felt the days after I put Oscar down were the most extreme I’ve experienced since my grandmother died in 1985. The difference this time though, was my sense of responsibility. I was responsible for his well being. And I chose the day that my cat would die. If I knew how much the grief would hurt, how much I would feel I failed my charge, I would probably have decided to try a few more things before giving up.
However, these past two weeks as I’ve been looking at a lot of pics, from long ago and from the past few months, it is clear from the recent pics that Oscar was in decline and was not going to last much longer. I hope I found the right balance with regards to quality of life. I hope I would have made the same decision if I had not been unemployed at the moment and concerned about vet bills.
Today is the second anniversary of the death of Oscar’s brother, Alex. But it was very different for Alex, as he just drifted away. And I think we kept him comfortable till the end. I was sad, but I also felt it was the natural ‘circle of life’.
As many people suggest, when Alex died here at home, I made sure Oscar saw the body so that he knew what had happened. When he did he quickly ran away. But afterward he never cried looking for Alex. However, Alex and Oscar were always together, always slept on top of each other, so you could tell that Oscar was not doing well alone. So after four months we got a new kitten which Ivan named Pancho, which for some reason quickly became Piggy. Piggy is now 20 months old, and was a great companion for Oscar. Once we introduced them to each other it only took 7 days between “what the hell is that?” to “OK, you can sleep with me.” (Btw, Kevin, who’s family has had Bengal cats, thinks Piggy is at least part Bengal. He does have the coloring, and that lanky look, long and lean, and the intense stare of Bengals. But there is no way to know for sure.)
Piggy seemed to know that Oscar was sick, and kept watch over him till the end. In the days after, Piggy did cry for Oscar, and look a few times in all Oscar’s usual hiding places. Once I saw him open the door to the linen closet and reach up to look where Oscar often hid. Yes that made me tear up. But since then Piggy seems to be doing OK. (see what I did there?) He doesn’t leave my side when I’m home, but he was doing that before. However, he will need a companion, sooner more than later.
As I’ve been going through all my cat pics (you take a lot of pics over 18 years), I’ve created a new photo album dedicated to them on this blog. See the Photo Album link in the menu bar, then look for Gatitos. I will continue to add pics as I find them (and as I take new ones).
So I guess in the end, it is good to know that I too can feel strong emotions. Hopefully someday I’ll feel them towards another human.
Oscar and Oscar
My cat of 17 years died today. Actually I chose to put him down. That was 5 hours ago, but it’s been 5 hours of second guessing. Did I make the right decision? Could we have fought through this latest set of problems? Would things have been different if I had acted sooner?
I could list all the problems, going back to last November, and you’d say it was a reasonable decision, that he was suffering, especially these past few days, and it would require more suffering for a chance of getting back to some level of stability. And while that stability might have lasted months or years, he could also be back in this same position in just a few weeks.
Augusto asked me what did my gut say. He thinks it’s best to always go with your gut. But while my head says this was the right decision, my gut says never give up. That comes from living through a plague, I guess. I’m telling myself I made the logical decision, but I also hear a voice saying I made the decision too quickly. I had pretty much made up my mind before talking to the vet today. See my twitter post “One last day in the sun” and others. Nick and Martin had come over yesterday to say their goodbyes. But today the vet said I could give him subQ fluids every day for the next week and force 300 calories daily into him, and the herpes like sores on his tongue, throat and esophagus might heal and he’d start eating on his own again. But it had been such a battle this weekend to get even 30 ml and 50 calories into him, I don’t think neither he nor I could handle it. And that’s the part that gnaws at me. I should have been able to handle this. I’m suppose to be able to handle anything.
With his brother, Alex, who died two years ago in two weeks, we didn’t have to make this decision. His body just slowly gave out. He was not in pain, I think. He just drifted away. And we knew that weekend that it was going to happen soon. We spent that Sunday with him. When he passed, it was very peaceful. For Oscar, having to choose which day for him to die was really hard. Now I’ve been looking at old pics, seeing how beautiful and healthy he was, and I think I gave up too soon. But then I look at all the pics I took yesterday and today and think, no it was time.
Nick and I got Alex and Oscar from a girl who rescued kitties and worked at JPL-NASA, where I was working at the time. They were 6-8 weeks old and part of a litter of 4. I was only expecting to get one, but after I told the girl that I’ll take this one (don’t remember whether that was Alex or Oscar), the other climbed up on my lap and said “You know you’re not leaving without me.” I said “Yeah, I know”, and took the two home. We didn’t have cell phones back then, but Nick, being a doctor, had a pager, so I paged him a single character, 2. He was at one of his meetings at the time, and squealed out loud with joy.
On the way home from Pasadena, Oscar curled up on the back seat and fell asleep, while Alex was all frightened, and climbed up on my lap and onto my chest and I held him tight the 20 minute drive to Hollywood. (At six weeks old he could fit into the palm of my hand). This pretty much defined their personalities for the next 15 years. Alex was high maintenance. Oscar was nonchalant. Alex you always needed to watch out for, Oscar could take care of himself. Neither were afraid of people, though. In fact they’d run to the front door if they heard the door bell ring.
I suppose if I’m here to reminisce about Oscar the cat, I need to also reminisce about his namesake.
Nick had wanted a female cat, and was going to name it Alexis (after Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan of course). But we got two boys, so Alexis became Alex. I got to choose the other one’s name. I named Oscar after a boy I hardly knew.
Prior to the availability of protease inhibitors, which made HIV a relatively manageable disease, people had a lot of misunderstanding, apprehension and fear of AIDS. Even the gays. Especially the gays. And of course blood relatives. (OK, that’s all still true today, but not as bad.) Back then you rarely told anyone you were positive, but once the symptoms of full blown AIDS showed up, everyone knew. And way too often guys would find out their good friends weren’t very good friends at all.
I had gone over to some guy’s house just south of WeHo, someone I had only recently met, to lay by his pool, and Oscar was there too. Oscar had been living in the guest house since losing his job. He was a few years older than me, so that would mean mid to late 30s, and tall and handsome. He had been an all star high school quarterback from Texas, had been Home Coming King, was certainly part of the “A-list” in WeHo, being invited to all the right parties, etc. He continued to be a jock, was on all sorts of sports teams here. But then he developed full blown AIDS and his friends suddenly were no where to be found. His Tex-Mex familia had abandoned him too, so he couldn’t go back to his small town in Texas.
Back then there were many different ways to succumb to AIDS, lots of opportunistic infections and wasting. Things that destroy your body without affecting your mind. But there was one, AIDS Related Dementia, that took your mind leaving your body intact. This is what Oscar had.
I met Oscar just as it was being confirmed that he had full blown AIDS. We had a few dinners, talked on the phone a half dozen times, and sat by his pool a few sunny days. (Once he wanted to toss the football back and forth, but it didn’t take very long to show how bad of an idea that was. I am unable to either catch or throw a ball.) But the dementia set in quickly and within 4 or 6 weeks, he was unable to take care of himself and was put into hospice care where he died a few weeks later. I cried. And for some reason, a few years later I named my tiny orange kitten after him. Oscar the cat kept me company for 17 years. And then he died. And I cried again.
Swim Trunks
Went to the gym last night (Friday) for the first time in 11 days. I had a bout of food poisoning. Got sick at work on Tuesday. Sick on Wednesday. Started on Cypro on Thursday. Had my first meal Friday night. But also developed the hiccups on Thursday, which was pretty continuous while I was awake until the following Thursday. The hiccups caused a lot of acid reflux, which irritated my throat and tongue (and seemed to make me susceptible to thrush). But once I started on three meds, the super strength Prilosec, Fluconazole, and a muscle relaxant Baclofen. The hiccups went away within 24 hours of starting those meds. And my voice is no longer raspy.
Have no idea what caused the food poisoning. Had only eaten out of my fridge the previous two days. But this was the worst I’ve ever had. Well in 1992 I got shigella, but within 12 hours I was in the ER with an IV in my arm. So that was probably more serious, but it was over real quick. This just lasted for days and days. And yes I had been talking to my doc asking if I should go to the ER, she no need unless this, this and this, which never happened.
So at the gym last night, I had a pretty descent all around workout. Didn’t try to do too much. But I weighed myself, and I was down 10 pounds from two weeks ago. And that’s after days of eating like a pig. At it’s peak I’m sure I was down 15 pounds or more.
The really depressing part of all this was the timing.
At the gym there is a name for a type of weightlifter, the perma-bulkers. Guys who are always trying to get big, and feel you need to need to eat constantly and be a bit overweight to gain muscle. Perma-bulkers may be big, but they’re never in good shape.
Then there are guys who grow muscle while maintaining 5% body fat all year long. They must have the right bacteria in their intestines. Because while they train hard, they eat a ton of food and never gain an ounce of fat. I hate them.
I’m pretty good at staying lean, at least with the subcutaneous fat and the intra-muscular fat. But I’ve had a problem with the visceral fat, the fat in between the organs. Certainly the meds don’t help. So while I can see my abs, the hand held meter shows me at 16% bodyfat. This shows up as a protruding stomach. My waist had reached 35″.
So I decided I was going to work out extra hard, eat right, and get my waist back down to a more athletic number. Ok, but by when? I needed a goal. Well, there’s a big gay pool party in Palm Springs in April. 1000+ muscled guys, age skews older, average probably 40.
And I promised myself that if I got below 33″ waist, I’d reward myself with these overpriced designer swim trunks. So I trained really hard, dieted, did aerobics. And I got down to 32.5″ waist. And I bought the overpriced swim trunks.
On the Sunday before the event, a straight guy at the gym commented to me “You look jacked!” And then Tuesday, 4 days before the big pool party (which for I had already bought the ticket), I got sick. So I didn’t get to go to the pool party. And I’ve lost all my definition, but that will return with a few weeks back in the gym.
Now I have these overpriced swim trunks and no place to wear them.
three weeks before big gay pool party. two weeks before I got sick
Ender’s Spiel
Kevin is rather proficient in German, so when I was in Germany I wanted to get him a book, but I didn’t just want to pick one off the top 10 list at random, not knowing what it was about. I wanted to get something that had a good chance of him enjoying. While at KaDeWe I perused their book department. I quickly ruled out the Harry Potters and Twilight books, was considering Hunger Games, when I stumbled upon Ender’s Game. The movie was coming out soon, so the book was being heavily promoted. In the past I had given him some of my favorite SciFi books, with mixed reactions. But it was getting late and I needed to find the bathroom in KaDeWe, so I bought Ender’s Speil.
Kevin loved that I got him a book in German, and read it over the next month. He found parts of it a little monotonous, but loved practicing his german. He says reading the german was a bit slow in the beginning, but by the end he was zooming through it. He finished the book this afternoon, so tonight we went to see the movie at the Grauman’s, I mean Mann’s, I mean TLC Chinese Theater.
Kevin had never been in the Chinese Theater, and I hadn’t since they put in stadium seating. Prior it was a very gentle slope with a huge number of seats. Now they’ve lowered the floor in front by a good 15-20 feet, so it is a much steeper slope, and probably fewer seats. And the screen is now IMAX, 70 feet high. The ceiling and walls are the same, as beautiful as always. But being IMAX, ticket price was $18 each. And that wasn’t even 3-D IMAX.
We both enjoyed the movie, Kevin was grateful that they left out all Val’s blogging, Peter’s taking over the world, and limit the number of bullies Ender puts down. I asked Kevin if he enjoyed the battle scenes more knowing the twist at the end, and he said yes, having read the book made the movie more enjoyable.
So I guess I need to go back to Germany to buy another book. What other novels are coming to the big screen? other than Hunger Games, Part Zwei.
Vacation Galleries fixed, I think
Vacation Photos
Back a week now. Mostly over my required post-vacation cold. Back to the gym. Sunday was first time in three weeks. (20 Euros a visit is a good reason to skip the gym while on vacation). Photo galleries have been updated. (OK, the album is corrupted. will need to fix later)
Berlin
